This memoir would haunt me…continuously in my mind and I continuously tried to push it to the back. It was too painful to solidify the truth like this in black and white…my childhood, my addiction, my love story.
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Chapter 29
He said that their love reminded him of ours...how they could talk about anything, were the best of friends, and had a mutual, unmatched affection...
Chapter 28
Something I love about life now is that I fit in my skin in a way I never could have imagined...I have a space inside me that goes everywhere my body does, but also beyond. A space no one can hurt or touch with dirty fingers.
Chapter 27
It may have felt dark, but I lived each day with the deep knowing I had gained a few years prior...the sun is always shining even when you can't see it.
Chapter 26
Without fail, there is a price to pay for using your suffering as a weapon to hurt others and, therefore, causing more suffering. I know this firsthand as, at one time, the unconsciousness of my own pain dictated that I do the same.
Chapter 25
When you decide not to respond to injustice with injustice and bear the betrayal instead, you transmute the suffering. It's going to feel like a death, but it's going to be a resurrection.
Chapter 24
I was ushered into the office of the only detective in my town. The office was dim and cramped with a bulging desk fitting for a hefty man like him.
Intermission
There are some things to come that are more delicate than all of the previous chapters combined. The intricacies involved in relaying these experiences are deserving of the time and thoughtful crafting it will take to continue in a true, yet sensitive way.
Chapter 23
The one constant in life is change and if our moral code is challenged by a change in schedule (or anything at all for that matter), then it may be that there are cracks in that integrity.
Chapter 22
I understand the innate sensitivity of the ego. For this reason, I will cater to it briefly in the hopes of cutting through some of the delusions it likes to create…
Chapter 21
If there is anywhere I have failed in this memoir, it's here...where are the words to depict the experience of this type of love?? The way that the cells came together to create this being...
Chapter 20
When there is nothing in between us, there is a limitlessness that induces pure, sober intoxication just being in his presence…Our Universe…
Chapter 19
I learned that many people tend to prefer the puddle to the ocean. I was yearning for depth, for meaning, for someone that understood me.
Chapter 18
He walked the path of crime in other ways, not at all knowing how to process the trauma he experienced in his own life. I recently learned that, like my mother, he too was brutalized as a child…brutalized in every way a child can be. No exaggeration.
Chapter 17
The lights were low and there was a candle lit with some fresh flowers. Under a different circumstance it would have been quite romantic.
Chapter 16
I didn’t consciously know at the time that I was learning about integration…knowing my shadow, while also emerging my light.
Chapter 15
I didn't know that would be the last time I would ever see him, but I get now that he did. He told me that he prayed every day that I didn't end up like him.
Chapter 14
I would be in a cubicle, in a basement for what felt like eternity...I wouldn't be able to last much longer there as it was smothering my soul little by little each day.
Chapter 13
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
Chapter 12
I understood early on that the world I lived in was crushingly realistic. Which, coincidentally, was quite the paradox for a world so far from understanding what was real.
In Bloom 