It is a very confronting and powerful thing Samantha, raising our ire, our pain, and mostly our fear. Hence the non speaking. Confronting someone, being able to point the finger takes a strong person…but not doing it is us pointing the finger at ourselves, for our own many reasons.
In all the counseling I have done, seen, felt and understood…sexual assault, be it children, teenagers or adults is involving almost 70 to 80% of the population…assaulted in one form or another. Be it a slap on the backside to an all out sexual assault. We have all been confronted by it in so many ways, and many by those we love, be they family, friends or relatives. And because of that crosses so many barriers. And after I’ve seen so much, it is a very big part of our feelings, our journey through something very powerful and does one thing very strongly. It asks us to face ourselves, really face ourselves be it those that assault or those being attacked, because it is such a distinct action towards that love within us, that love we give ourselves or not. The anger it raises, the loss of love, the fears, the shock and more so of that because it can mostly be someone we know. There is nothing worse than it happening by someone we thought we trusted, it truly breaks something inside us.
Now the difficult part, and very hard to understand for most of our lives. But it is, as I said, asking us to look inside regardless of which side of the fence. It does ask that question of…who am I…really. Ever pointing the finger at this or that but trying not to go too deeply within ourselves, simply because the fear resides there. But life will keep tapping us on the shoulder, ever asking that question…who am I?
And it is only in looking to that depth, through that fear and understanding it…will we be able to forgive ourselves, forgive others, and finally see that those many things that create our fears, is also the one thing that will also help us to understand them. It is a very big journey this life, it will test us in so many ways. And many of those moments are nothing less than a complete shock to us. But inside that it is building something so profoundly beautiful. But we cannot see it for a long time, and that has purpose so that we can feel it all, hard as it is. But coming through it is building something, something that you cannot believe until you do one day see it truly…and finally understand that it is teaching us about us.
I have seen someone do something so bad that it shocked me…truly shocked me. I never ever forgot it. But as the years went by I saw that over time it had changed him, so profoundly that he then went out of his way to help others, make up for what he had done so that there was so many he had now helped. Do we hang him high back then, and all he helped was lost? And in that case, someone who had been assaulted, it has given them great fear…but in doing so has slowly built a courage, a faith and strength within them because of it. Many others may help and give them courage to stand firm again, give them an appreciation of what they had experienced into what they have now become because of it.
And it is those who have been so terribly hurt that I find become the most forgiving because of what they have been through. No, it doesn’t seem to be fair…but what is empathy and compassion but the teaching of that love through that. We are learning it in all our different ways, and mostly very painfully…but it is there that we understand love truly because of those experiences. Yes, we will remember them…but yes, it will teach us that love above all else. And in the end we slowly realize that it is what we have become because of it, and finally let it go. Even the attacker dares to forgive themselves, but only after it holds them for a long time to face themselves. This world is a mirror everywhere we turn…and on the day we dare to face ourselves, forgive ourselves and others, and stand tall at that mirror…is the day that we are finally free because of that very journey ❤️🙏
I’m going to read this again and really think about it. One part I find hard to shake are outsiders who keep sick secrets, enabling such destruction. I think you’re absolutely right though. Even to be witness is so deeply disturbing, thereby causing reflection, which can allow progress. That matters. We can’t consider humanity without considering our part in it. Right? Thank you, Mark ❤
I never understood the ‘don’t judge others’ for a long, long time Samantha…until I saw the outcome in myself. And it is a part of life…but…we can’t see the full story. It’s like a thief in a shop, a terror that makes us feel horrible because it diminishes us, be it in trying to make a living, financially, family etc and having it taken away by someone that hasn’t worked for it. But if you follow the thief back and see that he isn’t in a good way, living in a deserted home, has a child that is sick, fallen through the cracks of life…we then feel differently. Simply because we don’t know everyone’s story, of their fears or barriers that life seem to put in our way to test us. And yes, even those deceitful, destroying, perverted types have a journey. Even a murderer (even though I do know that particular thing is very frowned on, simply because we have taken away that persons ability to find that redemption in themselves if someone takes their life),…and if they cannot step beyond, and even try to make up for those actions…there is a line in the sand somewhere…and trust me, when I was shown what hell was and I felt it, there is nothing on this earth that comes even close to it.
We all have visions of hell with fields of fire, little devils poking us with their pitchforks…and trust me, we would wish it was. In that instant, and I thank God it was but an instant, I felt every cell in my body screaming blindly in a pain that isn’t a physical pain, but a heartfelt one. All of our world here, now, is full of that unconditional love, always. The only time it is diminished is when we block it ie. break up in a relationship, a partner or our child dies, those hurts that come from within because we are closing ourselves tight from those fears and hurts and blocking that love. They are a partial closing and teach us that we don’t want to be there so we slowly go beyond and open again, even if scarred.
But to those that choose that direction they will go deeper into that non love…and in the end it is removed, because that is their direction. I want you to try to imagine that grief and loss, all that emotional pain…times a million. That total loss of love we have never experienced down here, it doesn’t exist even if sometimes it feels like it. Trust me, it is something that leaves you screaming within with its loss it is such a powerful thing. And they don’t have to be judged, they are calling that destiny unto themselves. Only them. And after touching it I would not wish it on anyone, not a murderer, not even a Hitler. It’s power is beyond understanding.
It is like not being able to give words to unconditional love it is that incredible, words would diminish it…well, it’s opposite is the same, there are no words for its terror. And we attract accordingly, and trust me, we don’t have to do a thing to those others, it only draws us into it. Forgive them and let them go. Hard as it may be, they are their own judge, jury and executioner…unless they release it and come back into that love. We always only attract what our hearts speak…truly. Let them go, if you touched what I touched it is so far beyond a jail sentence, beyond any torture down here, just so far removed that it’s horror is unimaginable. By judging them you step into that ‘lower’ part of yourself.
When we try to go through life, yes we do get angry or jealous or whatever, that is life teaching us. But as we understand and go through those fearful barriers within us, we change and face that love within us, become it. Don’t let others drag us down in that anger again, leave them to their destiny…as they choose it. Our choice is that unconditional love, because we don’t judge and in that can offer forgiveness…no greater pain can you give another because it makes them look at themselves in that forgiveness. If you wish to heal, them and yourself, forgive them…and release what bound you to them.
It is a big journey, but trust me, at its end is something you will be so glad that you did take this journey, were able to face yourself and go beyond it. No greater love can you give than that to yourself in that forgiveness of you and others who in fact, by just being themselves as bad as it may have been, have helped you to find that beauty within you. I know it is hard, but it is giving you that love and happiness you have always sought ❤️🙏
This just helped me a lot actually. I often get sucked into the “whys” and “what ifs” and “what’s the solution?” Going so far down the rabbit hole…which has served a purpose at times. Most times, though, I’d have to say that accepting the unacceptable is the way concerning things like this. Because you’re right. We’re never going to know the FULL stories from everyone’s perspective. We’re just not meant to know everything. Thank you for the reminder. You gave me back some peace today 🙂
It is hard some days, we do want that meaning in our lives, to find us or at the least a purpose in what seems a crazy world. And I swear it is there, but like anything we are learning, especially in the beginning, it all seems gobblygook. And also, and this caught me for a long time…you may not think you are making heads nor tails of this journey…but if you ask yourself ‘would you like to be back a year, 5 or 10 years…you will think about it but quickly shake your head because you will ‘know’ within yourself you are past those times, have evolved within yourself and that wisdom shows you that yes it may have been hard…but you are definitely beyond it. So you see, you are learning, you are becoming stronger, more loving and most certainly, in each step you take, understanding and getting closer to that unconditional love that is within us all. Hold your head high Samantha, it has been hard…very hard…but it is in going through that, that much empathy and compassion (yes, sometimes we do still want to throw rocks at them in frustration), is bringing you closer and closer to something that you will be glad of it all, simply because you will fully understand your journey, see its purpose, and be glad of every step you have taken. Big hugs my friend, have hope, it is there as He says it is. When I saw, touched and felt it, I finally knew that it wasn’t a fairy tale or some story to put kids to bed at night or a control mechanism from a world gone mad…but, a beauty that no words can truly describe because of the love that built it. We, down here, are trying to understand that love…and when we do…it will speak to us more and more 😀❤️🙏
In Bloom 
It is a very confronting and powerful thing Samantha, raising our ire, our pain, and mostly our fear. Hence the non speaking. Confronting someone, being able to point the finger takes a strong person…but not doing it is us pointing the finger at ourselves, for our own many reasons.
In all the counseling I have done, seen, felt and understood…sexual assault, be it children, teenagers or adults is involving almost 70 to 80% of the population…assaulted in one form or another. Be it a slap on the backside to an all out sexual assault. We have all been confronted by it in so many ways, and many by those we love, be they family, friends or relatives. And because of that crosses so many barriers. And after I’ve seen so much, it is a very big part of our feelings, our journey through something very powerful and does one thing very strongly. It asks us to face ourselves, really face ourselves be it those that assault or those being attacked, because it is such a distinct action towards that love within us, that love we give ourselves or not. The anger it raises, the loss of love, the fears, the shock and more so of that because it can mostly be someone we know. There is nothing worse than it happening by someone we thought we trusted, it truly breaks something inside us.
Now the difficult part, and very hard to understand for most of our lives. But it is, as I said, asking us to look inside regardless of which side of the fence. It does ask that question of…who am I…really. Ever pointing the finger at this or that but trying not to go too deeply within ourselves, simply because the fear resides there. But life will keep tapping us on the shoulder, ever asking that question…who am I?
And it is only in looking to that depth, through that fear and understanding it…will we be able to forgive ourselves, forgive others, and finally see that those many things that create our fears, is also the one thing that will also help us to understand them. It is a very big journey this life, it will test us in so many ways. And many of those moments are nothing less than a complete shock to us. But inside that it is building something so profoundly beautiful. But we cannot see it for a long time, and that has purpose so that we can feel it all, hard as it is. But coming through it is building something, something that you cannot believe until you do one day see it truly…and finally understand that it is teaching us about us.
I have seen someone do something so bad that it shocked me…truly shocked me. I never ever forgot it. But as the years went by I saw that over time it had changed him, so profoundly that he then went out of his way to help others, make up for what he had done so that there was so many he had now helped. Do we hang him high back then, and all he helped was lost? And in that case, someone who had been assaulted, it has given them great fear…but in doing so has slowly built a courage, a faith and strength within them because of it. Many others may help and give them courage to stand firm again, give them an appreciation of what they had experienced into what they have now become because of it.
And it is those who have been so terribly hurt that I find become the most forgiving because of what they have been through. No, it doesn’t seem to be fair…but what is empathy and compassion but the teaching of that love through that. We are learning it in all our different ways, and mostly very painfully…but it is there that we understand love truly because of those experiences. Yes, we will remember them…but yes, it will teach us that love above all else. And in the end we slowly realize that it is what we have become because of it, and finally let it go. Even the attacker dares to forgive themselves, but only after it holds them for a long time to face themselves. This world is a mirror everywhere we turn…and on the day we dare to face ourselves, forgive ourselves and others, and stand tall at that mirror…is the day that we are finally free because of that very journey ❤️🙏
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I’m going to read this again and really think about it. One part I find hard to shake are outsiders who keep sick secrets, enabling such destruction. I think you’re absolutely right though. Even to be witness is so deeply disturbing, thereby causing reflection, which can allow progress. That matters. We can’t consider humanity without considering our part in it. Right? Thank you, Mark ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I never understood the ‘don’t judge others’ for a long, long time Samantha…until I saw the outcome in myself. And it is a part of life…but…we can’t see the full story. It’s like a thief in a shop, a terror that makes us feel horrible because it diminishes us, be it in trying to make a living, financially, family etc and having it taken away by someone that hasn’t worked for it. But if you follow the thief back and see that he isn’t in a good way, living in a deserted home, has a child that is sick, fallen through the cracks of life…we then feel differently. Simply because we don’t know everyone’s story, of their fears or barriers that life seem to put in our way to test us. And yes, even those deceitful, destroying, perverted types have a journey. Even a murderer (even though I do know that particular thing is very frowned on, simply because we have taken away that persons ability to find that redemption in themselves if someone takes their life),…and if they cannot step beyond, and even try to make up for those actions…there is a line in the sand somewhere…and trust me, when I was shown what hell was and I felt it, there is nothing on this earth that comes even close to it.
We all have visions of hell with fields of fire, little devils poking us with their pitchforks…and trust me, we would wish it was. In that instant, and I thank God it was but an instant, I felt every cell in my body screaming blindly in a pain that isn’t a physical pain, but a heartfelt one. All of our world here, now, is full of that unconditional love, always. The only time it is diminished is when we block it ie. break up in a relationship, a partner or our child dies, those hurts that come from within because we are closing ourselves tight from those fears and hurts and blocking that love. They are a partial closing and teach us that we don’t want to be there so we slowly go beyond and open again, even if scarred.
But to those that choose that direction they will go deeper into that non love…and in the end it is removed, because that is their direction. I want you to try to imagine that grief and loss, all that emotional pain…times a million. That total loss of love we have never experienced down here, it doesn’t exist even if sometimes it feels like it. Trust me, it is something that leaves you screaming within with its loss it is such a powerful thing. And they don’t have to be judged, they are calling that destiny unto themselves. Only them. And after touching it I would not wish it on anyone, not a murderer, not even a Hitler. It’s power is beyond understanding.
It is like not being able to give words to unconditional love it is that incredible, words would diminish it…well, it’s opposite is the same, there are no words for its terror. And we attract accordingly, and trust me, we don’t have to do a thing to those others, it only draws us into it. Forgive them and let them go. Hard as it may be, they are their own judge, jury and executioner…unless they release it and come back into that love. We always only attract what our hearts speak…truly. Let them go, if you touched what I touched it is so far beyond a jail sentence, beyond any torture down here, just so far removed that it’s horror is unimaginable. By judging them you step into that ‘lower’ part of yourself.
When we try to go through life, yes we do get angry or jealous or whatever, that is life teaching us. But as we understand and go through those fearful barriers within us, we change and face that love within us, become it. Don’t let others drag us down in that anger again, leave them to their destiny…as they choose it. Our choice is that unconditional love, because we don’t judge and in that can offer forgiveness…no greater pain can you give another because it makes them look at themselves in that forgiveness. If you wish to heal, them and yourself, forgive them…and release what bound you to them.
It is a big journey, but trust me, at its end is something you will be so glad that you did take this journey, were able to face yourself and go beyond it. No greater love can you give than that to yourself in that forgiveness of you and others who in fact, by just being themselves as bad as it may have been, have helped you to find that beauty within you. I know it is hard, but it is giving you that love and happiness you have always sought ❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
This just helped me a lot actually. I often get sucked into the “whys” and “what ifs” and “what’s the solution?” Going so far down the rabbit hole…which has served a purpose at times. Most times, though, I’d have to say that accepting the unacceptable is the way concerning things like this. Because you’re right. We’re never going to know the FULL stories from everyone’s perspective. We’re just not meant to know everything. Thank you for the reminder. You gave me back some peace today 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is hard some days, we do want that meaning in our lives, to find us or at the least a purpose in what seems a crazy world. And I swear it is there, but like anything we are learning, especially in the beginning, it all seems gobblygook. And also, and this caught me for a long time…you may not think you are making heads nor tails of this journey…but if you ask yourself ‘would you like to be back a year, 5 or 10 years…you will think about it but quickly shake your head because you will ‘know’ within yourself you are past those times, have evolved within yourself and that wisdom shows you that yes it may have been hard…but you are definitely beyond it. So you see, you are learning, you are becoming stronger, more loving and most certainly, in each step you take, understanding and getting closer to that unconditional love that is within us all. Hold your head high Samantha, it has been hard…very hard…but it is in going through that, that much empathy and compassion (yes, sometimes we do still want to throw rocks at them in frustration), is bringing you closer and closer to something that you will be glad of it all, simply because you will fully understand your journey, see its purpose, and be glad of every step you have taken. Big hugs my friend, have hope, it is there as He says it is. When I saw, touched and felt it, I finally knew that it wasn’t a fairy tale or some story to put kids to bed at night or a control mechanism from a world gone mad…but, a beauty that no words can truly describe because of the love that built it. We, down here, are trying to understand that love…and when we do…it will speak to us more and more 😀❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person