It was totally out of the blue, unexpected. He’s someone that I knew from afar for probably over a year. I was drawn to him in a subtle way. No overwhelming desire to make anything come of it just yet. It was a delicate pull, like there was an unspoken connection or recognition you might say.

Little by little, I began to take more notice of him. Feeling more of a tug towards him. It’s hard to describe, but there was definitely something unexplainable in the air. I came across a post from a mutual friend on Facebook saying that they were together somewhere. I took a mental note…

I had to speak at a meeting and he was there as he usually was. It happened to be his anniversary. After the meeting, I was standing in a group of people when he walked through to shake some hands and say goodbye. A man teasingly introduced us, insinuating that if we didn’t know each other, we should. We shook hands, locked eyes for a moment, and he left.

When I got home that night, under the darkness of a Gemini new moon, I told my roommate that something in my gut was telling me to reach out to him. She encouraged me to go for it, so I did. This was totally unlike me though I must say. First of all, it was someone I knew from a meeting, which I swore to myself I wouldn’t do again (thought I learned my lesson there). Secondly, it wasn’t exactly in my nature to initiate talking to men.

I messaged him and congratulated him on his anniversary. He responded right away. He thanked me and then asked me out, just like that. Sent me his number and I texted him right then so that he had mine.

Writing about this part now is tough. I was about to embark on what would become the happiest, safest, and most content time of my whole entire life up to that point. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. How sending that one message would seriously impact the entire course of my being…

He texted me the next morning and we messaged all throughout the day. We connected immediately. I ended up inviting him over that night for tea. Which was also so not like me. What girl invites a guy over to her house for tea? I mean, sure, I liked tea, but what?? This is not England. Also, who invites a guy she doesn’t know over to her home? Not this girl, I can tell you that. I’m smart. I know this stuff, don’t I? Suddenly I had no brain. I was all heart and intuition. Right off the bat.

He came over and we had tea. At first glance, we had so much in common it was uncanny, truly. He is a single father of twin boys. I was raised by a single dad and I have twin brothers. He loved to ride his Harley. My dad always had a Harley and I loved to ride. I was working towards a degree in Biology. He loved the sciences. We both had been in long term relationships that ended around the same time. We talked about relationships and what we both wanted…identical. We were both sober and had similar rocky pasts. We both possess creative qualities. It was pretty much immediately comfortable with him; minus the normal jitters you get around someone you like.

We talked like this for hours. I went to bed that night and had a dream. It lasted all of a minute, maybe, but I’ll never forget it. There were clouds, just clouds. Then, one by one, letters started appearing almost slideshow style…L…O…V…E. In big, black, bold typewriter-like letters. It was very factual and straightforward. So mystical and telling that I couldn’t get it out of my head…the first of many signs to come.

There was an easiness to the progression at first. Deep down, I knew that this was something…that it was going to be something life changing. I would have been unable to identify this then, but there were other powers involved. There was always, always that feeling regarding us. I think he would agree. We talked every single day from there on out.

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: Slowly at first, and then all at once…” (The Fault in Our Stars by, John Green).

Our next “date” was at his house. He made me dinner, pasta and his homemade meatballs. It was very sweet…he played some kind of Italian-esque instrumental music. I had spent that day at a memorial service and luncheon for a dear friend, Rich…

Rich was probably the most spiritual person I have ever known. I knew him for 12 years and I’ve heard tons of stories to the contrary, but I’ve only ever known him this way…honest, gentle, caring, easy going…wise. He was good to people and helped them no matter who they were or where they came from. It didn’t come easy for him. I know that much. He had a rough past…one of the saddest life stories I’ve ever heard. Still, he carried a light from within.

Rich was Betsy’s husband’s sponsor and Betsy’s sponsor was Rich’s wife. It was quite a crew! These people saved my life, and many other’s, and greatly contributed to the person I am today. They never really told me what to do. They lived by example. Each of them, quite remarkable in their own way. Each with a hell of a story.

I remember when I had 1 year sober. I shared a quiet moment with Betsy. She gave me the same coin she had gotten 20 years earlier when she had a year sober. She also gave me a card and a gift. The gift was a silver bracelet with, “To thine own self be true,” from Shakespeare’s Hamlet engraved on it. I cherished it, especially now.

The 5 of us went to a meeting and out to dinner to celebrate. In the car the topic turned to me and dating. When you get a year sober, you’re officially “allowed” to start dating. They were making sure I knew that no matter what happened, I couldn’t drink or drug again. That my sobriety still needed to be the most important thing in my life.

They were also trying to prepare me, throwing out all kinds of thoughts on the subject. Out of nowhere Rich threw out some scenarios of what if I was out with a guy and (fill in the blank), what would I do? Then he said, “Well, what if he calls you a pig?!” The car became dead silent, then everyone started laughing hysterically. God love him, he was sincerely trying to help me, prepare me, but what??

The bonds created with these people are irreplaceable. The “tough guy” was right…the love does go on. In fact, I’ve learned that love, if true, is the only thing that never goes away…